


One Bad Decision and a Toaster Later:

by Artistic_Alex



Category: Detroit: Become Human
Genre: #libertyfortoasters, #savegerald, Alcohol, Dad Hank, Drinking, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Karaoke bars, Post-Revolution Best Ending, Rip Hanks Shoes, drunk!Connor, facts no one asked for, let Connor drink dammit, the world needs for drunk!connor fics-
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-04-06 07:22:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19057939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artistic_Alex/pseuds/Artistic_Alex
Summary: Connor ends up getting dragged along on a Friday night bar visit.It goes as well as you’d expect.





	One Bad Decision and a Toaster Later:

**Author's Note:**

> What even is this story-

This was probably a bad decision.

 

How had he let this happen?

 

“Come on Con, do it! It’ll be fun!” They said.

 

One minute he was working hard in the precinct on a case and the next he’s being dragged to a shitty karaoke bar with Tina, Gavin, and Chris, who had also invited a few recruits to tag along.

 

All this caused by the simple question of whether or not he could get drunk.

 

Typical.

 

Connor held a shot of whiskey in his hands as Tina and Gavin urged him to drink, Chris laughing and rolling his eyes, pretending to be against the idea.

 

Seeing his colleagues excitement for him to try new things Connor swallows the shot in one gulp, slamming it to the table, followed by Tina’s cheer and asking for a couple of rounds for everyone in there group.

 

One thing lead to another and somehow he was shitfaced.

 

Connor somehow lost track of how many drinks he had had but he knew it had been far than one to many.

 

Just enough alcohol mixed with his thirum to get him up doing karaoke with Gavin, just enough for him to start trying to show the bartenders how to do coin tricks, just enough to get dozens of texts from Hank asking where the hell he was.

 

Connors hair was an absolute mess, his nice and crisp formal white shirt wrinkled and untucked from his dark wash jeans. His face wore a blue tint near his cheeks and nose.

 

Currently, Connor was almost screaming along as the bar sang to “Never Gonna Give You Up” when he received a call from the Lieutenant.

 

“Connor! Where the fuck are you? You were only supposed to work til six today- Is that music?”

 

Connor laughed and hiccuped.

 

“Heeelllo Lieutenant, I’m per-perfectly okay.”

 

He heard Hank sputter as before he spoke again.

 

“Are-are you drunk? The fuck?”

 

Connor nodded only to remember Hank couldn’t see him, again causing himself to laugh.

 

“How is that even- god damn it... Connor where are you?”

 

“Mmmmh. Bar.”

 

Hank let out a sigh. “That doesn’t tell me shit Con.”

 

“You ‘member that bar Tinaaa wanted to go tooo? We went there.”

 

“Alright, just- stay there, I’m gonna come pick you up. It’s late, you got work tomorrow.”

 

Hank hung up and gave a long sigh.

 

How the fuck had anyone convinced the kid to go out drinking?

 

Connor was constantly on Hank's ass about the dangers of alcohol but here he was, past twelve at night, in a bar completely shit faced.

 

Hank pulls the address up on his phone before slipping on his shoes.

 

“I’ll be back in a bit Sumo, gotta go pick up some dumb android ass-“

 

*****

 

Connor had been showing his coin tricks to a small crowd of drunks when Hank walked in. When he saw him he immediately gave him a large toothy grin.

 

“Hey Haaaank-“

 

Connor went to flip his coin between his hands before dropping it to the floor.

 

“Connor, I get that you’re an ‘adult’ and all that shit, but I would have fuckin’ appreciated being notified that you were gonna go drinking. Christ kid, you were supposed to walk back to the house, how the fuck had you planned to even get home?”

 

Connors led shifted to yellow as he shrugged.

 

He immediately shifted his attention back to his coin, picking it up and once again attempting to flick it between his hands.

 

Hank looked up to see Gavin, Chris, and Tina sitting in a booth all talking, all beyond the point of being simply “buzzed.”

 

He walks over pulling Connor with him.

 

“Oh fuck. Here’s dad. Fun's over.” Tina says taking one last sip of her drink before pushing it aside.

 

“Yeah yeah, the fuck ever. Y’all got plans to get home or are you as fucking irresponsible as this shit head?”

 

Hank asked, flicking Connors led.

 

Chris, who seemed to be the most sober pulled out his phone to check the time.

 

“Planned on calling everyone an Uber soon, we’re good.”

 

“Great. Now, the next time you guys decide to get Connor fucking wasted, please be inclined to at least tell me.”

 

Before anyone could say anything Hank began to walk away, hand on Connors shoulder, almost guiding him to the door.

 

It was weird to see Connor stumble like this. Ever since he had met him he had been so clean and proper, but now he looked so human, especially when he took in upon himself to vomit on the sidewalk, a small splash finding its way to Hanks shoes.

 

“S-sorry Lieutenant-“

 

Hank shook his head as he continued to help the android to the car.

 

The second Hank was seated he unfolded his long list of questions.

 

“Okay, first of all, what the fuck happened, second of all, how the fuck are you drunk like this, third of all, why didn’t you tell me you were here so I wasn’t worrying about you getting fucking mugged or assaulted in some shitty part of town, fourth of all WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK??”

 

Connors led was blinking between colors quickly. If he were human Hank would have assumed he was thinking. Maybe he was? Right now he couldn’t tell.

 

“Mmh. Got invited, wanted to bond withhh col-col-egs-. ‘N I told you I could drink a’hile ago, be your drinkin’ buddy-“

 

Welp. That hardly explained a thing.

 

Hank took a deep breathe and started the car.

 

“I’m sorrrryy Hank-“ Connor said as he sniffles.

 

“I jus’ wanted to become friends with everyone ‘n I didn’t meanta scare you”

 

Was he actually crying?

 

“Alright. Well- uh, it’s alright Connor, just, don’t throw up in my car, alright?

 

Connor nodded sadly as he rested his head against the window.

 

The drive was quite for about the first half, Hank had almost though Connor had gone into stasis until he heard an abrupt laugh from the passenger seat.

 

“Heyyyy Hank-“

 

Hank glanced to Connor.

 

“Yes, Con?”

 

“Did ya know if Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33 and tha she’d stand seven feet, two inches talll?

 

Hank couldn’t help but laugh.

 

“Oh yeah? What made you think of that?”

 

Connor laughed as grinned as he looked to the Lieutenant.

 

“Gavin called me a ken dolll so I told him that ‘n he thought it was funny.”

 

Connor giggled as he continued to adjust his seat.

 

“Wanna hear more facts’?”

 

Hank rolled his eyes and pretended to be annoyed, his gruff persona put into place.

 

“Sure, why not.”

 

“Didya know that if you yelled for eight years, seven monthss ‘n six days you would have produced enough sound energy ta heat one cup of coffee?”

 

Hank shook his head. “Nope. Didn’t know that.”

 

Connor smiled and finally leaned the chair forward again.

 

“I wanna try it when we get home-“

 

“Haha, let’s not, say we did, sounds just as fun, right?”

 

Connor crossed his arms.

 

“You’re no funnnnnnn”

 

Hank gave a half smile.

 

“I’m old. I ain’t supposed to be fun Connor. You’ve keep me up past my six o’clock bedtime for the last time.”

 

“Whatever, you don’t go to sleep, until, like, superrr late-“

 

Hank gave a small chuckle as they pulled into the driveway. He sat for a minute as he watched Connors repeated attempts to undo his seatbelt before he had to reach across and undo it himself.

 

Connor stumbled out of the car, staring at his feet as he carefully took one step at a time.

 

“You need help Con?”

 

Connor glared at him and attempted another step.

 

“I’m notta kid Hank, I can handle-“

 

Connor falls to the ground, hardly catching himself when he braces his arms forward.

 

“Alright dumbass, come on, lemme help you in.”

 

Hank helps Connor up and braces him to his shoulder.

 

He can’t help but feel a weird nostalgia from this whole situation.

 

If someone would have told him a year ago he’d be helping his stupid drunk android son into his house he’d a knocked the fucker flat.

 

Hank struggles to unlock the door as the Android continues to babble hardly understandable useless facts to him, finally turning the key, he struggles to walk inside.

 

Sumo sits near the door with a confused look on his face, Hank thanks god that Sumo decided to not be all over the place tonight.

 

Hank continued to help Connor to the couch before sitting him down near the armrest.

 

“Alright Con, I’m gonna get you a change of clothes, stay here, okay?”

 

“Mhm.”

 

Hank walks to the garage where he had made Connor a makeshift room, reaching into his dresser to pull out something that could pass as pajamas.

 

As Hank grabs a pair of old sweatpants he had given Connor he hears clattering into kitchen and then a loud **_thump_ ** as he returned to the couch.

 

Rushing out he is met with Connor emotionally holding a toaster.

 

“Connor what the fuck are you doing?”

 

Connor sniffles and wipes his tears as he looks up to Hank.

 

“Why do I getta be alive and this toaster doesn’t?”

 

Connor hugged the toaster closer to him.

 

“Connor, that’s because that’s a toaster and you’re an android who is really starting to annoy the shit out of me with all the crumbs you’re getting on my couch.”

 

“Gerald just wants to be freeee-“

 

“Gerald-?”

 

Before Hank can get another word in Connor begins a rant about how he is going to adopt Gerald (the toaster) and give him the life he deserves, he then proceeds to tell the harrowing backstory of how he had been an outcast from the other kitchen appliances and all he ever wanted was to be loved.

 

Every attempt Hank made to reach for the toaster was met with a whimper and a pull back.

 

Obviously he wasn’t getting that toaster back until he was “sober…”

 

Unsure of what else to do Hank sets Connors clothes on the coffee table and tries to reach out and get Connor to go to his room.

 

“Noooo- I wanna stay hereeee-“

 

There wasn’t much else he could do he supposed.

 

“Alright Con… Just, try and get some sleep, okay son?”

 

Hank turns off the lights and begins to walk to his room when he here’s Connor softly respond with “goodnight dad.”

 

Hanks heart feels warm as he smiles.

 

God, Connor was a fucking idiot..

 

*****

 

Connor felt terrible as he awoke from stasis. He was in a messy state of crumbs and a blanket mountain.

 

He looks down to find he was clutching Hanks toaster close to his body, confusion rang through him as he tried to figure out what happened.

 

“Morning shit head”

 

Hank said as he sipped his coffee.

 

“Gah…” Connor held his head that he didn’t even know could hurt until now.

 

“I feel terrible.”

 

Hank smirked and set down his mug.

 

“Welcome to being hungover.”

 

Connor sits up and sets the toaster on the table.

 

“Well I don’t like it.”

 

Hank rolled his eyes and moved to the living rooms recliner.

 

“I’m having trouble recalling the events of last night, I’m most confused as to why I’m holding a toaster.”

 

Hank picked up the toaster and set it in his lap putting on his best poker face. 

 

“Oh, you mean Gerald? Yeah, you adopted him last night after you got shit faced with Gavin, Tina, and Chris. He is now the newest addition to the Anderson family.”

 

The look of pure confusion on Connors face finally made Hank lose it as he doubled over in laughter. Connor, though having an annoyed and still semi confused expression joins in. 

“Okay-okay, but besides that, I don’t want you pulling this bullshit again, you hear me? I left work early cause I had to take Sumo to the vet if you remember, you were supposed to walk home. I got home and you weren’t there and I spent hours worrying that you got fuckin’ assaulted or something. You didn’t answer my calls or messages til last midnight. I get that you’re meant to look like an adult but you’re still young in my eyes, I don’t want anything happening to ya, kid.”

 

Connor looked away before giving a small nod.

 

“I’m sorry Hank. It won’t happen again.”

 

Hank sets the toaster back to the coffee table.

 

“Good, now, you can make it up to me by cleaning up this goddamn crumb mess-“

**Author's Note:**

> Connor: I’m you and this toaster is me-
> 
> Connor: *Harshly throws toaster to ground before picking it up and hugging it*
> 
> Hank: *Guilty confusion*


End file.
